Irony.

My life is an irony.
I am the irony.
I find this so amusing.
Today was amusingly enjoyable.

I hate school, yet school brings me my happier days and memories. I hate band, yet I actually do have fun going for CCA. Now you see my point? It's kinda like those "now you see it, now you don't" phases.

"I am suspended between love and chastity", this was one of the titles for a movement of a new piece we played today. Hahaha, I found it amusing in more than one way, and it was highly enjoyable annoying Chester by teasing his name's likeness to "chastity". I guess the true reason why I dislike cca so much is very much because of the unfamiliarity and inability to "fit in" with the rest. Cos unlike them, I lack the four years of bonding they shared when they were in RG/RI, so there's always the inevitable nagging feeling of being "extra" and then I tend to miss Abby in Stnicks like alot alot alot. But in reality, they're all really nice people and most willing to open up their circle to let you in, offering warmth and friendship. Perhaps me being the antisocial insecure "don't like to step out of my comfort zone" "if you talk to me then I'll talk to you" idiot I am, I am the cause of my own misery. I should try to change me. Ohwell.

This week started out bad. The tension is still around. He's been busy in sispec. But I've been keeping myself busy too. With homework, revision, self-initiated reading and piano. I should keep this up. Hahaha, my transition period, from a slacker to a nerd. Good job, Nat! (I like to amuse myself, feel free to laugh.)